


Heart's True Desire

by ladykardasi



Series: Heart's True Desire [2]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/M, Het, Sleepwalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 18:22:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10904883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladykardasi/pseuds/ladykardasi
Summary: For seven nights in a row - she had counted them - she had woken up while trying to get out of her quarters, to go to him. One night she had even gotten so far as to try and access the station's computer, but the lockout had been very thorough.





	Heart's True Desire

They materialized on the floor in the middle of his quarters. Kira was feeling a bit silly. Here she had finally given in to Dukat and all of the sudden she felt like she simply wanted to get out of there. What was she doing anyway? 

Dukat stared at her intently. 

"You've changed your mind," he stated matter-of-factly. 

"Well, uhm. Yes… No… I don't …know," she responded uncertainly. She pulled away from him and walked over to the table and stood behind it - as if the furniture could help her keep the distance, as if it could protect her from him somehow. As soon as she left his embrace she longed for it again. She longed for his arms around her and she wanted to go back. His gaze on her was so intense it felt almost like a caress. 

"I couldn't believe you when you told me what happened…" she admitted. 

"Then you woke up in my quarters. I suppose now is the time when you'll tell me that you suspect Damar and me plotting against you, beaming you into my bed, hm?" His voice was mocking but underneath the surface Kira could hear his anger. 

Well, that wasn't really surprising. She had tried to seduce him for weeks - albeit subconsciously - and he had obviously reached his limit. Considering the facts, she understood that she could be labeled a tease. She hated women who behaved like that. She had had a friend who treated men like that - in the resistance. She used to kiss and lead men on all the time only to pull back at the last moment. Loriel had always been that way and then she had treated Kira's own brother like that. She had fooled Potr into believing she loved him, only to leave him without another thought when she tired of him. Kira had been so furious with her friend she could have killed her. That was when she promised herself she would never do that to a man, ever. Perhaps Dukat was one of the few men she knew who actually deserved such a treatment. He had done far worse things in his time as the Prefect of Bajor. She shouldn't have to feel guilty about this, but she did. Because whether he deserved it or not wasn't the issue. This wasn't about him; this was about her - her morals, her standards and what she had promised herself. 

"I never said such a thing. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. But perhaps it should have," she hissed. She was angrier with herself than him really. 

Right now the entire station probably thought they were making passionate love in Dukat's bed - she pushed that particular thought out of her head immediately. It did nothing to calm her. But she knew this station and the people on it. Nothing was ever kept a secret for very long on this place. She wondered what they were saying about her now; 'Major Kira Nerys has finally given in to Dukat and his advances?' or did they say 'Major Kira finally showed her true colors, she is a collaborator, just like her mother was!' Kira cringed at the thought of being compared to her mother. Being Dukat's mistress would make the picture complete - like mother, like daughter, right? Or would someone even be saying 'Lucky girl?' 

She knew that despite Dukat's past he was quite the ladies' man, and most women on the station had probably had their share of dreams about him…except her. She had never allowed herself to dream about him. She had never allowed herself to fantasize about how it would be to be kissed by those thin, gray lips. How it would feel to be caressed by those large hands. What the scales and ridges would feel like underneath her fingers. At least not until she had woken up in his quarters, wearing little else but a nearly transparent negligée. Since then her imagination had more than made up for the years when she hadn't allowed herself to think about Dukat as a man, and a man she was attracted to, no less.

Yet he had not forced himself on her. Kira bit her lip and looked at him where he was sitting. He hadn't done anything to force himself on her or make her admit to her 'heart's true desire' since that night when she last showed up in his quarters, dressed like a comfort girl. The legend of Sal Dara really felt like a mockery. Dukat - her heart's true desire - the Prefect of Bajor? 

She turned away from him. She wanted to scream. Her logic told her one thing and her body - and her heart - another. She forced the image of his naked body, fully aroused and wanting her, out of her memory. He had wanted her so badly that last night when he had woken her up. She could still remember the feeling of him pressing against her and she almost whimpered. She could remember how aroused she had been and she knew he had known it too. Yet he had done nothing. Oh, sure, he had made one small attempt to get her to reconsider, but he had not pursued the topic when she had cut him off. Dukat had simply contacted Damar and ordered his second in command to beam her out of his quarters. He had even helped her fight the Sleepwalking by putting out guards. And that was the end of it. 

Until now - when she had shown up in his office telling him that she had given up. Then they were beamed here - to his quarters and here they were…

Still he did nothing. She turned around again to look at him. Those eyes. Those impossibly blue eyes were trained on her intently, but he did not move, nor did he say anything. The intensity of his gaze made her shiver. He was simply standing there, waiting to see what her next move might be. Prophets, she didn't know what to do! Should she turn around and run screaming through the corridors of Deep Space Nine, but where would she run? She could not run from her own feelings; that was what she had discovered these last few weeks. 

Long nights had passed where she had woken up, standing by the doorway to her own quarters, smashing her hands against the door so hard that they hurt. Once she had woken up and realized what she had been doing she had gone back to bed trying to sleep, and she usually did fall asleep too - after a long while. The following night had been the same, and the next and the next after that. For seven nights in a row - she had counted them - she had woken up while trying to get out of her quarters, to go to him. One night she had even gotten so far as to try and access the station's computer, but the lockout had been very thorough. She had no way of accessing the transporters from her quarters and she had given up and gone back to bed. 

Did she really want this man so badly? She lifted her gaze and looked at him. She stared at that alien and yet so familiar face. The distinct features held a strange attractiveness, the eyes were intense and powerful. Dukat had been right when he said she was drawn to powerful men. When she looked at him, she knew that no man she had ever met held as much power as he did. They could strip him of rank, of influence. They could even strip him of his pride, but they could never, ever steal away the power he held. That power came from within and had nothing to do with materialistic assets or rank. It was the power of the mind and the body and Prophets help her - she wanted him so much! 

Her stomach tightened as if a fist squeezed her insides. It was a hunger so profound it almost hurt and when she looked at him next he rose from the chair as if her face showed him what she was thinking. He circled her and she followed his form as he moved around her.

"What will happen now?" he asked. "Will you let me take you to my bed?"

"Yes," she whispered hoarsely and stared into his eyes. What she saw there frightened her. His gaze was cold and distant as if he couldn't care less. 

"Then what?" he said. 

"Then what?" she repeated. 

"Then what will happen? You and I will go back to our respective lives? You will hate me like you always hated me? I will have had you in my bed once, tasting what could have been and that's it? Or will there be more?" 

She swallowed hard. Those questions were certainly valid. She didn't know. She had never experienced this before. The legends said one thing and her mind another. 

Her heart? Her heart believed in the Prophets and the ancient Bajoran texts told her that the Sleepwalking was a gift from the Prophets. 

"I don't know Dukat, but the Prophets will show me the way."

His jaw clenched and his whole face became cold and stern. She swallowed once more. His distance was making her nervous. 

"I don't believe in your Prophets, Nerys. Nor do I want them in my life." He turned around to stare at the stars.

She would now have to persuade him? Was that it? She would have to beg him to take her to his bed? She moved over to where he was standing with his back to her. She slipped her arms around him and cursed the armor. She could not reach him this way. The Cardassians were always so hard, so unapproachable, so cold, and Dukat was truly Cardassian. The armor told her that with perfect clarity.

"Take this away, Dukat," she said. 

"Why should I, Nerys?" he asked and then he turned around to look at her. "Why should I undress for you? So that you can satiate your need for my *body*? Hm? Is that it?" She stared at him and the gaze in those icy blue eyes grew even colder. "You wish for me to give myself to you so that you can scratch an itch?" She gasped at the crude statement but he continued as if he hadn't even heard her. "Is that it? And when I helped you with this, what then?" 

"That's not fair, Dukat!" she spat.

"Isn't it? Well, I am sorry I am not throwing myself at you like a lovesick Ferengi, but I do have some pride! How long will it be before you change your mind again? First you hate me, then you want me and then you don't…." His eyes sparkled with anger and she felt guilty, the words rang too true.

"But I do want you - and I know that you want me! You told me so only a few days ago and now that I've come to realize that I want it too, you are going to reject me?"

His gaze was still distant, but if she looked deep enough she could see the raging fire that burned within. She didn't answer; she simply reached out to undo the clasp that held the cuirass in place. She watched her hands - they trembled. When she pulled the armor off him it fell to the floor with a distinct thud and she looked at him. He didn't help, but he also didn't resist. With the typical Cardassian armor gone he looked different. Less unattainable, but the power in that lithe body was not to be ignored. She reached out to touch him, but his hands grabbed her wrists before she could reach him. The hands held her firmly, not allowing her to touch him. His palms were cool and dry and he looked her straight in the eye. 

"You know, Nerys, I do want you - I always have and I probably always will, but I am not interested in what you have to give me tonight unless you give me more than that. I don't just want you in my bed once. I want you in my life," he snarled impatiently. 

"You talk as though you have feelings for me," she said with a voice that shivered slightly. 

Prophets! The truth dawned on her - she understood it now. He knew that if he had taken what she offered him, sleepwalking, she would have really hated him, even more than before. Her hatred had never been personal; it was what he represented, but if he had taken her then; that would have made her hate *him*. He had wanted her to come to him willingly and to admit to her desire for him. Now, she saw the glint in his eyes. It was a glint of fear, but it was gone before she knew it, but she had seen it and realized how he mentally cursed himself for showing his vulnerability to her. The fear turned into instant anger before her eyes.

"And what if I did, Nerys? What if I did have feelings for you?" he spat. His eyes turned into small slits as he viewed her intently. "If I did, that would give you all the power, yes? You could just turn on me and crush my heart between your fingers as if it were fragile as Denabian glass! That is what you are thinking, isn't it? You would love that, wouldn't you?" His anger and the contempt in his eyes sent shivers down her spine and she averted his gaze. "You think that you can crush me; that I am at your mercy now, when you have finally given in and decided to grant me my fondest wish, hm? You think I *love* you?" 

His smile was filled with disdain as he threw out the hurtful words in a quick stream, not allowing her any chance to respond. His voice was different than she'd heard it before. It was filled with loathing and she wondered if she didn't deserve that. But she would never let him know, so she opened her mouth to hurt him right back, but she was cut off before she had a chance to say anything. His eyes darkened and the desire flared in those blue depths as he grabbed her by the waist and yanked her into his embrace. 

"You'd be right!" he admitted coarsely as if he couldn't keep the words down any longer. Then he buried his face in the hollow between her neck and her throat. His breath was shallow and quick and her heart started beating faster. Suddenly he spun them around and she felt the bulkhead slam into her as he pushed her back up against it with the force of his body. 

"Gods, Nerys, you'd be so right!" he repeated irritably and ground his hips against her. Kira closed her eyes and her head lolled back against the bulkhead. If he hadn't been pressing her so forcefully against the wall she'd slid to the floor. This was what she wanted. She wanted him to lose control, to take over, to claim her. He began kissing her and repeated one last time through his ragged breaths; 

"You'd… be… right!"

That was when she actively started responding to his advances. She slid her arms around his neck. She had never been so close to him willingly before. Looking him the eye, so closely, gave her an almost unsettling feeling. It was exciting, his loss of control was exhilarating. She could feel his lithe body push urgently against hers and it was a pleasant but unfamiliar feeling. She wanted to touch him, to explore every part of him. To find out what he found pleasurable. 

"What will happen after this?" he groaned. "Will you continue to treat me like trash?" 

"There are never any guarantees, Dukat. You know that as well as I do. Let's enjoy this and we'll see where it takes us. All I can say is that you and I - we will never be what we were. We will never be enemies again. I know that much."

And she knew she was speaking the truth. Her body craved his touch and her desire was strong, but she knew there was more to it. Why had the Prophets chosen this path for her? Why had they given her the gift of sleepwalking to make her see her true feelings for Dukat? And why did she feel this way for him? How could she?

"I hope you mean that, Nerys. It would really not be very pleasant if you went back to hating me now… " His grip around her waist tightened and he leaned forward to kiss her again. And when he did she opened her mouth willingly to let his exploring tongue meet hers. He kissed her thoroughly and she could never have believed in her wildest dreams that she would find it so pleasurable. To feel his warm lips pressed to hers, his tongue caressing hers eagerly was maddeningly erotic. He was Cardassian; that alone should make her want to push him away. He was Dukat, the former Prefect of Bajor, which was ten times worse, but the words had no meaning to her. All she could think of was how pleasant his touch felt and how his kisses turned her on. She had wanted men before, but not like this; this was different. 

She moved her hands from his neck down to his waist and then even further down to grab his cheeks in her hands and she firmly pulled him close to her. She could see how his eyes flew open in astonishment at the less than subtle hint she was giving him. She pulled back from his kiss and couldn't help but giggle at the look on his face. Then she saw the smile on his lips and a dangerous glint appeared along with the desire in his eyes. His hands moved from her waist down to her buttocks and he grabbed her, none too gently and pulled her closer with a soft growl deep in his throat. She stopped giggling and gasped, head leaning backwards when she felt his hardness press against her. 

"Can you feel it now? Is that what you wanted to feel?" he hissed and ground his hips against her. His hard erection pressed into her flesh in a very pleasurable way. 

"Yes, that's what I wanted," she admitted and drew in a sharp breath when he leaned forward and kissed her neck. His tongue lapped at her throat sending pleasant shivers down her spine. His hands, still firmly planted on her buttocks began caressing her in circular motions. 

"You don't know how long I've wanted this! You don't know how long I've wanted to taste your smooth, pale skin…"

Her knees almost buckled when his hands moved from her behind to the front. His hand slid down between her legs. Slowly and gently he caressed her as she whimpered into his mouth. 

"You're driving me crazy, Dukat!" 

"Oh?" he said and pulled his hand away. "You want me to stop then?" The self-confidence in his eyes would have made her furious only a few days ago, but now it simply made her want to give back. 

"Oh, well. I'd want you to quit touching me just about as much as you want me not to do this…" she said and grabbed him unabashedly and smiled wickedly at him. She felt her own eyes widen at the sizable bulge, filling her entire palm. She barely reached around him as she caressed him through his pants. Prophets, he was - huge! She didn't let it distract her for long though and she watched him close his eyes as the pleasure overtook him. She moved her hand up and down along the bulge and squeezed gently all the while. Then she dug her nails into the fabric and scratched along the length of him. She felt his erection harden underneath her caresses. It had to be almost painful being restricted in those tight uniform pants, she reflected, but he didn't seem to mind. He simply leaned his head back, exposing his throat to her as he moaned; "Yes, Nerys, touch me. Oh, how I've wanted you to touch me just like that."

His words sent a surge of heat through her body and it centered between her legs. She wanted him there. She couldn't wait to feel him there. She leaned forward as she kept caressing him through his pants and he rocked his hips back and forth to enhance the feelings she was giving him. She licked along his neckridges and he groaned. She loved the taste of him, the scent of him. He smelled like the incenses that she used to burn at the temple, sweet and spicy, both at the same time. She realized he probably didn't want to hear that.

"You make me so excited. I love to see you aroused. I didn't realize I would like it so much. I feel like a teenager," she admitted. 

"Well, you aren't much more than a teenager," he mock-chided her as he opened his eyes to look at her. "I, on the other hand…. Making me feel like a teenager is quite the accomplishment." She squeezed a little more just to shut him up and felt a wicked smile appear on her lips when he gasped and grabbed her shoulders for support. 

"Yeah, you're really old, Dukat!" she spat and bit down rather hard on the ridge that went from his chin to his ear. She thought it would be painful, but it was rather obvious to her that she simply managed to arouse him further. 

"I don't think this is working," he moaned. 

"What isn't working?" 

"This. I want to make you feel special but you are making me lose control!" 

"Ah," she said. "Then it's working just fine…"

"I want to see you," he responded and the teasing was over. 

His hands moved restlessly over her uniform and he pulled down the zipper at the back and pushed off the garment. Underneath it was the ivory t-shirt that went with it. She could feel his hands through the thin fabric and she wanted it gone, so he could caress her properly. She wanted to feel his hands on her bare skin. 

"This shirt of yours have been driving me mad many times over. Do you remember when we were on Dozaria, where we found Ziyal?" he groaned "Gods, how I wanted you back then!" and he dug into the fabric and ripped it off her. At her astonished look he simply said. "I'll replicate you a new one…" but she forgot all about it as he pushed her in front of him towards the couch. "Sit down," he urged and then he kneeled in front of her. 

Kira gasped as she felt his cool skin against her sensitive breasts. The alienness of the ridges on his face caressing her nipples was pleasant and she pushed her torso closer to him as his chin moved over her breast in circular motions. 

"Your skin is so soft against my facial ridges. You don't know how good this feels," he sighed, then he silenced.

"Oh, but I do," she insisted as she moved her hands to caress his neckridges. They were swollen and hard under her fingers, and he moaned when she touched them. It didn't distract him from what he was doing though and his tongue lapped at her nipples and she moaned in turn. Involuntarily, she flung her legs around his waist trying to get him closer to her, but the edge of the sofa was in the way and she groaned. She started pulling at his clothes and he grinned wickedly at her. 

"Ah, now you're getting impatient." 

But his teasing tone rang hollow and she looked him in the eyes. The look there told her that he too, had had enough of teasing and silently they rose to their feet. He kicked his boots off and she stared at him. Those long, muscular legs really looked their best without those heavy boots, and the tight fabric of his pants hugged his lithe form in a very flattering way. She moved forward and pushed his hands away as he began opening his pants. 

"Let me do that," she whispered huskily. "I want to undress you."

"Uhm," he agreed as he let his hands fall to his sides and he let her take over. Slowly, not to tease him as much as to let herself enjoy uncovering his body, she pulled his clothes off. He was every bit as beautiful as she remembered him. He might be a few years older than she was, but he was in great shape and he was so… "Prophets you're sexy, Dukat!" she finished her thought aloud. 

"You think?" He wasn't fishing for compliments, she could tell, he was simply astonished that she said it and wasn't sure she really meant it. 

"Oh yes, Dukat, you are sexy," she repeated in earnest and pulled his pants off of him. He was standing naked before her and she couldn't take her eyes off him. She couldn't take her eyes off *that*.

"You didn't seem to think so, the last night I beamed you back to your quarters," he said. 

"Oh, I did. I just wasn't ready for this, and Prophets, I don't know if I'll ever be ready for *that*!" she said and pointed at him. He simply grinned at her. 

"Oh you'll be ready. I'll make sure you are."

He made the ceremony short with her clothes and soon she was standing in front of him, naked as the day she was born and his eyes told her all she needed to know. She smiled at him with a question in her eyes. 

"Ah, yes Nerys, you are beautiful, you are *sexy* too… "

Then he pushed her down on the sofa. 

"Shouldn't we get to your bed?" 

"Later." 

The urgency in his movements told her everything she needed to know. The bed was too far away, that was all there was to it. Kira didn't say much more. She simply leaned back in the rather comfortable couch and let him do what he wanted to her. His hands caressed her everywhere. On the soft skin of her neck, moving tantalizingly slowly downwards to the sensitive skin of her breasts. His lips followed in their trail, brushing soft, damp kisses on her skin. He was carefully avoiding her nipples and lowered his hands to her stomach, caressing her gently. Slowly… He was so sensitive to her reactions. It was as if he *knew* what touches would make her writhe underneath him. His hands moved over her hips and her pubic bone, down to her thighs and her knees, and then up again, slowly, carefully he moved those large hands on the insides of her thighs and she moaned. 

"Prophets, Dukat, touch me!" she pleaded. 

"I am touching you. I am touching you everywhere, or did I miss a spot?" 

"Dukat… please."

His hands held her thighs firmly in place and his fingertips caressed her closer and closer to that aching center and then she felt his breath against her moist lips. 

"You are so wet, my sweet Nerys," he whispered huskily. 

"I am wet, I want you. I want you there…" she moaned helplessly under him and she let out a cry as he descended upon her and he took her into his mouth. He moved over her, sucking, licking and lapping like he had never tasted anything so delicious before in his life. 

"Oh, you taste so good, Nerys," he murmured and the sound of his voice made her tremble. The tension in her abdomen grew and she was bucking her hips against him, wanting him to stimulate her further. The hands on her thighs moved closer to her opening and he carefully drove a digit into her and she moaned out loud. "Dukat, oh… more, more…. " He started moving his finger in and out of her and she thought she'd fall to pieces because of the pleasure he was causing. Then he inserted another digit and the movement of his tongue grew more insistent, more intense and she cried out loud as the waves of pleasure became almost unbearable and the release crashed upon her. She was sobbing by then and he kept caressing her as the orgasm kept going for a long while before it subsided and she relaxed underneath him. 

But he didn't allow her to rest for long. By the time she was relaxed again he moved upward and kissed her. The taste of herself on his lips was arousing and she sighed. His erection pressed urgently against her and she spread her legs to invite him in. He positioned himself to push inside her. She was so wet from her own juices and his saliva that he didn't have any trouble entering her, at first. Then she felt his erection fill her and stretch her to the limit. 

"Oh," she gasped.

"Are you okay?" he asked with concern in his voice. "I know it is a bit much to take the first time around."

"I am okay," she said truthfully. But she had never felt so completely filled in her life and she saw sparks dancing before her eyes as he entered her completely. It felt so good. How come she hadn't done this a long, long time ago? He was wonderful. He made sure she was comfortable and he didn't do anything to hurt her or force her. On the contrary, when she opened her eyes to look at him his eyes shone with concern when he asked once more.

"I'm fine, Dukat, really. I never felt better. I promise you!" she said and threw her legs around his waist and bucked against him to urge him to start moving. He did so, carefully at first, but when she dug her nails into his neckridges she could literally see him lose the control he had been fighting to hold up until that moment and she met his thrusts with vigor. She felt like her entire body had transformed into a quivering mass of nerve-endings that could feel only pleasure. 

The insides of her rippled as he moved inside her only to slowly pull out and she grabbed his body with legs and arms to pull him back in. At first he moved slowly but then he increased the pace a little and his breathing became ragged. He hadn't thrust into her more than a few times before she cried out once more as the pleasure washed over her, but he simply kept going and his lips covered her mouth as he moved. She reached up and dug her hands into that raven black hair and she kissed him back enthusiastically. At that moment she knew that no matter how much she searched or how much she looked she would never find a man who could satisfy her needs the way Dukat had already managed to do. As the thoughts crossed her passion-dazed mind she reached the edge once more and this time Dukat joined her pleasure. As he came inside her she wrapped her legs and arms around him. The sound that came from deep within him was intoxicating. It was like a mixture between a growl and a hiss and it reverberated through her body, it felt so good. 

He relaxed in her arms and she could feel his heart beating violently against her chest. He didn't look up for a long while and finally she became concerned. She moved a little and he resisted her. Then she pulled at his hair to make him look at her and she realized what he had been hiding. His eyes were filled with emotions and her chest tightened when she saw them. 

"I know," she whispered simply. "I feel the same way." 

She couldn't say it out loud - not yet - and neither could he. But she knew it was simply a matter of time before Major Kira Nerys and Gul Dukat, former prefect of Bajor professed their undying love for each other. That was, after all, what their hearts' true desires had been for years. Ever since the occupation of Bajor. She could admit it now. She had to.

He didn't answer, but he relaxed in her arms and lay beside her to lift his weight off of her, then he pulled her into his arms and said;  
"Now what?" 

She was silent for a moment. 

"Now we shower and move to your bed. It's got to be more comfortable than this couch."

The future would tend to itself as it always did. The Prophets would look after them no matter what Dukat felt about them. She knew that they had to have a plan with this. She wouldn't fall for Dukat just like that. It had to be a piece in the great puzzle of life. They would just have to wait and see where that piece really fit in…. 

~ End ~


End file.
